Are you Visual, Auditory, Tactile...What Turns You On??

What turns you on?

As sure as Venus is different from Mars, it is different for men and women.

Men are very visual. Women tend to like what they can feel and hear.

This short Q&A from iVillage sums it up nicely...


Foreplay For Men


by Dr. Patti Britton

Q

What can I do to turn on my boyfriend? What kind of foreplay do men like? --iVillager "S"


A

Usually it's the men who are screaming, "Tell me how to get her going!" It's nice to see a woman asking this question for a change. Good for you for asking!

Often a man is stimulated sexually by what he sees -- men tend to respond to visuals, while women tend to respond more to what they hear and feel. That said, some men do need to be touched or cajoled into action more directly. The first and basic rule is to ask. Ask him what he likes, needs and wants as a turn-on. Try doing this at a quiet, intimate time (but not necessarily in the bedroom). For example, you might initiate a discussion over coffee about what each of you finds to be a turn-on. If your man needs to be touched, then any form of gentle, careful and caring caressing of his genitals, and even his nipples, should do the trick. You can do this with your hands, of course, but you can also use your mouth or even your breasts. Believe me, it will work.

Personally, I like what I can read. And, erotica is what does it for me.

I just LOVE really well-written erotica.

For me that means: Novel length, a good story line, lots of sex, BDSM, or at least lots of good alpha male dominance and female submission. Call me a throw back, but I just get off on being dominated during sex. I can get so wet when I am reading that style of erotica that I can leave a wet spot on the living room furniture (through sweat pants), when all I was doing was sitting there and reading.

Isn't life glorious? Ya gotta love it.

The last book I read was by a writer using the moniker of "Powerone" - and let me tell you he is GREAT!!! I was wet for three days while I was reading that book. I couldn't get sex off my mind. In fact, I still have thoughts of the book running through my mind.

I think it was the bondage that did it for me. I really enjoy the feeling of being immobilized during sex. The "you can do anything to me and I can't do a thing about it" feeling. I'm out of control and not responsible for it. At the same time, someone else is totally in control. There has to be total trust in that situation.

There is also the fear of anticipation, the pain mingled with the pleasure of orgasm and the total - and I do mean total release that comes from an orgasm you have when you are tied up. It is a totally different feeling from any other orgasm you will ever experience.

I'll have to bring out my list of favorite books at some point. Right now, it's 2:30 in the morning and I'm going to go and try to get some sleep.

Whimsical-Annie

VIBRATORS AND THE FEMALE ORGASM

Why is it that women don't talk about their orgasms? At least I've not heard the women I hang around talking about their orgasms. And, I get strange looks when I want to talk about my sex life. I don't think it is all that strange to want to talk about a normal human function.

And, the men I have talked to, and the erotica I have read, all seem to indicate that men love the way a woman looks when she is cumming.

So, why do women shy away from a subject that is so endearing to men?

Are we really ashamed of our sexuality, or is it that we have never been taught the language necessary to communicate about orgasms and what is necessary to achieve one. Sure, they are talked about in women's magazines, but I have never read a "how to" description that would help a woman explain, in depth, to her partner (male or female) how to get her off.

Me, I have an easy time visualizing, or feeling what I want done - but, how to put that: put your tongue here, rub your finger there, pinch my clit this way, rub my G-spot that way into words that won't have me fumbling and mumbling all over myself in the middle of a great make-out session is still a mystery to me.

I can write about it all day long. In fact, that is one of the reasons I started this blog - the fact that I CAN write about it - but, have a difficult time talking about it. I hope that will change over time. That I will start being able to talk about it more.

Also, I would like to talk about BDSM, and other "taboos" of the bedroom.

It isn't just men who like a little diversity or "slap & tickle". Me, I LOVE being tied up and brought to the edge of orgasm over and over, but not being allowed to sip over the edge into release. I enjoy pain with my sex. I like being told what to do, ordered what to do. It gets me hot and wet just thinking about being submissive in the bedroom.

But, not so much out of the bedroom.

I am not a collared submissive. I am, however, in an agreed upon relationship. For example, I am allowed to masturbate, I'm just not allowed to orgasm unless I have been spanked first. Now, I can ask anyone to spank me - but, to be honest I just can't imagine asking anyone but my husband. So, my orgasms are controlled. Which, works for me, and wouldn't work for a lot of other women. But, for me, it makes the experience more intense and satisfying.

And, just in the past six months or so I have learned the value of a really good vibrator. And, I'm 47. I love my vibrators. I have loved learning how to use them to their best advantage on myself. I love it when my hubby uses them on me when we are having sex.

But, I believe in buying GOOD vibrators. The Doc Johnson special generally doesn't last long for me. There are quite a few good ones out there, unfortunately Amazon doesn't carry many of them, but I have attempted to put up on this site the better ones that they do have. If you have any questions about vibrators, please feel free to ask. Surprisingly I have tried MANY. And, I have opinions about them. Which I will start talking about in the future.

Well, it is late and I am tired. So, it is off to bed for me. Nighty night all. Sleep well & remember to Play Passionately!!!

Whimsical-Annie

Top Ten Most Humiliating Ways Your Body Can Betray You In Bed

10. Farting

This bodily function occurs during romantic, familiar sex. Let’s face it – you usually aren’t relaxed enough during sex with someone new to let one rip. If you fart audibly during intercourse, try masking your blunder with loud dirty talk. Ladies, if you squeeze one out while he’s going down on you, just grin and bear it. A quick “sorry” might be in order if it’s a stinker. Men, farting is slightly more socially acceptable for you. Just remember that Brodie got dumped for it in “Mallrats.” Then again, he was dating scary Shannen Doherty, so maybe letting one loose can work in a guy’s favor.

9. Nether-fros

You weren’t planning on having sex tonight and Cabo isn’t ’til next month. Scrimping on waxing or trimming during winter? We all do. But if your bush obscures your partner’s head when he or she gives you head, forgo the oral sex or you’ll risk swallowing your own pubes during that post-coital kiss. Yummy.

8. Botched deep-throats

Girls: Remember that chick in the cafeteria who used to shove an entire banana down her throat to impress dudes? You’re not her. Handle your man’s schlong like a tropical fruit and the only release of bodily fluid is going to be you vomiting on his penis. Remember, you have a gag reflex for a reason! Guys: It feels unreal to be deep-throated, but have you ever maintained an erection after being puked on? Listen for choking noises and respond accordingly.

7. Anal explosions

Some asshole I know got pooped on during anal and he told his entire fraternity. The offender was thus deprived of sex, anal and otherwise, for the remainder of her college career. The lesson here? Always prepare for butt sex. Taking a poo and then aggressively wiping yourself beforehand is a must for women. Guys: don’t act all scandalized if your dick comes out of her ass looking like a Jello Pudding Pop. Yes, your girlfriend is pretty, but she doesn’t shit strawberries and glitter.

6. “Breaking” the penis

The girl’s on top and she comes down on the guy in a passionate, long thrust. The guy groans loudly. Did he come already? she wonders. Suddenly, he throws her off of him, curls into a fetal position and whimpers. She’s “broken” his penis. Rule of thumb: the guy should always hold the girl’s waist if she’s on top to help control the angle of thrusting.

5. UTIs

After a night of nookie, you fall blissfully asleep in each other’s arms, not caring to brush your teeth, wash your face or pee. You’re planning on spending the following day together, when she wakes up at 5 a.m. with a strong urge to urinate. She then flees the apartment. Guys: Stop pretending to like cuddling. Get up after sex and do something in the bathroom so she doesn’t feel like if she gets up to pee, she’ll be missing out on a spoon-fest. Girls: Respect your poon – pish after sex.

4. Spitting ungracefully

Fellatio should end neatly. Ladies, either swallow the love juice or slurp all of it into your mouth before swooping into the bathroom to spit. Do not drool his come all over his penis. Only men are allowed to drool when giving oral sex, and that’s because they don’t know any better.

3. Sex with Aunt Flo

She’s not supposed to visit for two more days, you’re in the middle of foreplay, and suddenly his hands are a little bloody. Fuck! If you’ve been dating awhile, this isn’t a deal breaker. If you haven’t been dating awhile, you sure as hell aren’t going to start now. Girls, know your schedule. Guys, it’s Mother Nature – deal with it.

2. The queef

This unpleasantry is defined as the act of farting through the vagina. Queefing usually occurs during hard thrusting, when air gets caught in the coochie. Girls can pass off the noise as a compliment: “You were doing me so hard, I couldn’t contain myself.” Guys, if this happens, best not to say anything. Make fun of her and it’ll guarantee you won’t be coming – or coming back for more.

1. Why is my eye swollen?

Some men prefer to come on women as opposed to in women. But sometimes he doesn’t just want to come on her tits or ass. Sometimes he likes to ejaculate on her face. Sometimes he misses. And sometimes her eye is swollen for the next 48 hours.

Welcome to the fruition of my dream and remember to Play Passionately

Play Passionately is a dream that has actually been many years in the making.


I have wanted a way to go back to work (I'm disabled) and yet it had to be something that I could do from the sanctity of my home. Well, I am just now exploring the world of blogging and the potential of making money through the blog. Well, here it is, my shot...

Play Passionately.

A concept, a dream, a life-style.

Let's see how it all unfolds.